Here's a hint

If I have my headphones on, I can't hear you talking to me (and I in fact don't want to.) Wait until I take them out of my ears before you start asking me stupid questions

Another one for the "that makes sense" file

Various law enforcement entities are running a speed trap close to my house. Here's an idea, instead of grabbing people driving home too fast, try moving half a mile down the road to where the prostitutes and drug dealers hang out. Just a thought.

After a certain point, stupidity is no longer cute

Am I the only person who is tired of people who need someone to lead them through their day? I must be. No one else is noticing the stupidity. I wonder how some people find their way to work or even feed themselves. Thought is apparently a lost art.

<hiding in cave>

Why is it that having a bad mood is not a perfectly valid feeling. Why can't people understand that there are really times that I want to be left alone and not come out and play. It's really ok, and it will pass if you just leave me alone; I promise. Why do I have to justify being upset by the standards of others. There is nothing wrong with not being a happy bunny all the time. Some people were not born with a perky gene. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with them anymore than it validates your happy sunshine coffee in an i.v. line lifestyle. It is not a good morning, it is just morning. I don't have to smile for you. I don't have to say hello. I am certainly under no obligation to be your friend and make nice. Get over yourself. You are not the center of the universe. You are not even the center of my world. I could really care less that the rest of the world worships the ground you wake on and begs to kiss your feet. I do not, and I will not. And trust me, you won't die from lack of my adoration. But you will if you are waiting around for me to feed you with the crumbs of my attention.

Everyone can just take a flying...

Today sucks; you all bother me.

Parents are such cute ostriches

When ostriches get scared, they don't really bury their heads. They do something better; they stretch their necks out along the ground and "hide." Uh huh, 'cause now that mean ole putty tat can't see you... Parents do the same thing. A good example is "The Education of Shelby Knox." So, you don't want your kid learning how to use condoms because they are only XX% effective rather than 100%. That makes so much sense. Instead of being at least a little safer, they are a whole lot ignorant. Your children are having sex... RIGHT NOW WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK!!! (Probably even on your bed, if they made it that far.) Just thought I'd pass that along. You seemed to be unaware. Even my mother is guilty. She was shocked that I knew exactly why we use KY with condoms and not vaseline. (If you don't know, I can explain it to you.) Don't worry about why I know, just be glad that I do.

Margaret Cho is my new hero

I really need to be folding clothes, but livejournal just saps all my will. Anyway, Magaret Cho has exceeded Lucy Lawless in my affection for the time being. This is significant because it takes a lot to surpass the glory of exposing your big beautiful thighs to the world week after week. But Margaret Cho has succeeded; she bellydances and is NOT ASHAMED!!! That is just beautiful.

Mystery!

PBS is showing more Inspector Lynley. (bouncy, bouncy, bouncy) However, either our friends at PBS are confused or our friends at Tribune are. Yahoo TV has Mystery starting at 8 for 90 minutes and then another show starting at 9... Am I the only one seeing a problem here or did the laws of space and time change without my knowledge?

interesting observation

i am borrowing a pair of my mother's boots for my trip. however, since they are wide width, they don't fit right. so today, i bought some men's socks to wear with them. does anyone else think it kinda strange that men wear thicker socks thereby increasing their shoe size? hmm...

People to avoid while driving

Many of theses will be self-explanatory, especially in Dallas... +cops +stupid idiots on cell phones +cars with dealer's tags +me +highway patrol +cars displaying handicapped decals or plates +soccer moms +cops +pedestrians +squirrels

And sometimes, we are very wrong

I post this one as example of how your life cannot be understood through a 10 question quiz.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

So: alluring yes, stylish no. i am ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic... I like that in a person. I'm all for do unto others, and cheaters should be eviserated.

I feel pretty

You Are Subversion!
You are systematic and secretive. Sometimes even very calculating. Most everyone trusts you but they have no idea what really goes on in your head. You are capable of being nice or mean, whatever a situation calls for. You look out for #1.

What Naughty My Little Pony Are You? I promise to stop doing these soon, but I just love new toya.

OK, ladies, it's your turn...

You know that little bag from Victoria's Secret that you think is so cute? Well, it is. However, it is not a purse or a lunch bag; so please don't use it as such.

To all guys with "man boobs"

Please cover them up; they make me jealous.

I've fallen in lust

Damn this sucks. Oh well, I guess admitting it is the first step to recovery.

Regret is useless

And so is guilt. Ok, you did something wrong, don't do it again. Beating yourself up, will neither take the action back nor make anyone your may have hurt feel better. Apologize. That's it, it's over. Accept that you are an imperfect human and move on. Now listen to Pam; she will put it into perspective for you. Right now you hate yourself 'cause you knew better But there's no use crying over spilled perfume You fell in a moment of weakness Well you just got to pull yourself back up Dry your morning-after tears 'Cause what's done is done "Spilled Perfume" Pam Tillis

Treat me like a dog

Like the biggest, baddest dog that that you have ever hat the misfortune to meed. Do not mess with me when I am eating, sleeping, or looked pissed off. One would think that these rules would be self-evident, but apparently they need to be explicitly stated.

Who let these kids out?

Ok, so they weren't kids; they were in college. The they in question is the bunch of twentysomethings I sat close to in Olive Garden. As I listened to their mindless chatter, I wondered to myself, "Was I like that in college?" I hope not. The gem of the afternoon was their discussion of absinthe. One of them referred to it as the "Everclear of alcohol." Umm, dear, Everclear is alcohol. Go ahead and put that margarita down, you've had enough.

I always knew I was normal

Your Political Profile

Overall: 35% Conservative, 65% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

I promise to return to my normal ramblings soon, but I feel that it is important for everyone to get to know me.

Looking for male wife

Your Brain is 40.00% Female, 60.00% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Single mid-twenties female seeks thirtyish male with female brain. Must like long walks in parks, cooking, cleaning, and washing cars.

the Hell? part 2

This and this time only, I am going to hide my text behind a cut because it will be especially foul.  But it is important that I get this out and not let it fester.

 

Crazy old bitch just ran into the back of my fucking car.  To add insult to injury, she wouldn't fucking back up until I walked towards her so that I could see if she had done anything.  Fuck.  Does my car look like one of those cement things that stop your car before you hit the curb?  I should mention that this was at a stop light.  And the damn thing was red, not green.  Put your fucking glasses on.  Or better yet, just stay the fucking hell away from my car.  Now it's not hurt, and I'm not hurt (other than an rageache - headache caused by rage), but fuck.

Ok, all better now.

Dude that ain't right

I just really that people don't like me not because of who I am, but because I don't fit their idea of who I should be. That ain't cool. Hate me because I'm beautiful; I don't mind. (I have really got to work on my self esteem issues.) In case you can't tell, I took today off from the bad place. And did I mention that echoes really kinda hurt for girls?

My heart's a little broken...

but not much apparently. The echo I had today showed that I have a "slight" mitral valve prolapse. Like anything is slight when it comes to your heart... To console myself, I bought a new dvd burner. It's dual layer. But the most interesting thing is that I discovered a "new" winamp feature. In 5.08 if you widen the player, you get beat visualization. Who knew? Plus lochjournal can actual pull music off winamp. And here I was just using winamp because it actually send the sound to all of my speakers. All of them that work that is. The original audigy can't use the rear center of my soundworks thx 6.1. (Small gloat only.)

Here's a clue

My buddy, henceforth known as "My Buddy", has a theory that there is a finite amount of intelligence in the world. As the population increases, each individual's allotment decreases, so that intelligence is never created (nor destroyed). Everyday I see more proof of this theory. Example: one of my coworkers thought that she would paint her fingernails at her desk today. I guess she thought she was at Pam's Manicure Hut.

I have my first friend!

On livejournal, not in real life. Because I am a wonderful person who is loved by all. Everyone likes me. Really, it's true. I am great. Believe me. Please...

Good advice

Find some happy music and listen to it.

A brilliant idea...

If you know something is wrong/unhealthy/annoying to others, don't do it. Here is an example: I was in the express line at Target behind a woman with 3 small children. For some reason, she thought that the kids should pay for stuff with their own money. Unfortunately, they couldn't count money. So she has to tell them what to give the cashier. The injury to the insult is that she looked at me and mouthed "I'm sorry." Umm, next time how about you play grocery store with your kids at home. MMM-kay?

Can we just drop all the pretense?

I had the misfortune of going to a wedding this weekend. And I have just one question. (Well two if you count my pondering how all the women with breasts the size of cantalopes managed to keep them from escaping out the tops of their outfits.) But seriously, why do people feel the need to posture for others? Do you think that if a couple of people ooo and ahh over your Vera Wang that makes you special? Here's a secret, behind your back, they were saying that you're fat. Why let others dictate your self worth? Am I the only one who paid attention to that Sunday School poster that said "I know I'm special 'cause God don't make no junk." Bad grammar aside, self worth comes from within, not "without".

The thin line between informative and TMI

My job should provide a bra allowance. While there are many things about work that I can complain about, this one is the funniest. I work in a 11 story building. The floors are kind of thin and flexible. In deference to the beginning of the hot season in Texas (yes, that was a joke), I have started wearing bras that are thin and flexible. Well, that's not working out so well. You see, the floor shakes whenever one of my coworkers of a certain size walks by. It was bad enough when my desk just shook; now, it is like walking down a staircase naked. Not that I have ever done that, I just imagine it to be unpleasant.