God is love

and He loves me.  I know this because someone created a lovely music video channel for me to watch on hd  called "the tube."  We love "the tube."

Universal healthcare

Sometimes you have to choose the lesser of two evils.  Paying for regular checkups vs. stays in the hospital for uncontrolled blood sugar.  Cause the way things work, we will be paying for one or the other.

Huggers...

In general, I do not like to be touched.  Especially not by people I don't know.  I don't want a hug.  I don't want a backrub.  And let us refrain from the unholy handshake.  We don't need to touch to communicate.  Email works fine.  Just fine.

Hey you...

yeah, you. right there.  no, quit hiding behind the door. i can see you.  there you go.  come on.  you can do it.  that's right, come on out of the closet.  now there is no point in running back in when i can see you in there.  i promise that you will be much happier if you come on out.  and i will too because maybe then you will stop acting like a whiney litttle bitch. no love.

What part of "evil inside" did you miss?

It's not like its not obvious or anything.  But for those of you who missed the first 6 warnings: Screw with me, and I will mess you up so bad, that you will screw yourself and ask for seconds.

Dumb bitch of the week

The woman driving like a bat out of hell down Harry Hines.  Those lines on the road are there for a reason.  KThxCrashNow.

Teenagers posing as adults

I don't mean with fake ids.  I mean supposedly grown people who get their damn feeling hurt all the time.  Grow the fuck up, real life isn't livejournal.

Poor people choose to live in ghettos

Newsflash: This just in... Poor people choose to be poor...      Apparently, when I was just a twinkle in God's eye, I said, "Please send me to a poor family so that I can stand in line at the project's main office with other poor people to fill a little red wagon with my yearly allotment of "government cheese" and peanut butter."  In a genie-like fashion He apparently said, "Yes."  And that is why I grew up poor.  Not because my grandparents only received middle school educations growing up during the early 1900's in the south.  Not because my mother was educated in a definitely separated but nowhere near equal school system.  Not because the good ole (white) boys system in my central Texas school district excluded students at the all black school on the poor side of town from the gifted and talented program.  No, I just wished to grow up poor.      Now I'm not saying that these things cannot be overcome.  I think I have been able to a large extent.  But you can't ignore how far behind those who did not face such problems this put me.  So, new rule:  If you don't know what you are talking about, then shut the fuck up.

I could use some more money to spend

my big baby is gone.  i miss him.  but hp says he'll be back by next thursday. kudos to yahoo for adding tabs to ie6.  but i've got 2 issues.  1, ie is kinda unstable so i tend to crash it.  when browsing in windows, i only loose one instance, but w/ tabs things are kinda ugly.  2, apparently the scroll button is mapped to open links in a new tab.  every time i try to scroll i have to 1st kill a tab...

they win

build a bear has a batman outfit...

Dumb bitch of the week

Titney wins again.  Just because.

Guilt

I don't bother with it.  So when my mother tries to make me feel guilty for not getting up at 7am on a Saturday, the one day I don't have to drag my happy ass out of bed at sunrise, it can only be an insult.  Seriously.  And it's not like it was for something important.  It was for a tune-up.  If you put a tune-up off this long, it will wait until I wake up at noon. In other news, HP may just have to go on permanent time out.  As much as I love my laptops, there is just something wrong w/ having two different models that need motherboard replacement for electrical faults.

?

Could someone explain to me why when try to visit monster.com i get monster.fr... in french...

HP is now on double time out

1.  someone doesn't understand the difference between 2 and Z 2.  i was given an incorrect number to send a verification fax into this is not difficult.  any given year, I'm going to spend a couple of thousand plus on computers/accessories.  if you want to be the recipient of that money, don't piss me off.  mmkay?  mmkay. but apparently if you call earlier rather than later you get an american understand, that the isn't nationality that is the issue, it's communication barriers.  i can't hear that well, if you don't speak the king's english i probably won't understand you.  and i really don't appreciate incomprehensible messages being left in my voicemail.

HP is on time out...

Nothing like poor customer service.  It's not that the call went to India, it's that the csr didn't understand english...  Now considering that I actually buy a new computer once a year, you don't want to piss me off.

Because I'm feeling mean:

To all prolifers - stop taking antibiotics, you are killing precious bacteria.  and what have paramecia done to you really.  or is it that only certain parasites are allowed?

Let me have my pain.

Hypothetically speaking: I broke my little toe, you broke your leg bone Yes, your pain is "bigger" But this in no way makes my pain any smaller for me Accept that we are both suffering

Proof dogs are smarter than kids

The other day as I was driving to work, I saw a dog whose owner had put it out of the house. Instead of whining and scratching at the door, the dog was jumping up to hit the latch. I know from experience, that a kid will just cry.

"Rights"

Well, you were half listening in school when they told you that constitutions and such protect your rights. You missed a part of the lesson. Your rights are protected from the government. Not your neighbor, not random strangers, not your employers. Example, your employer can tell you what you can and cannot wear. This is not a violation of your right to free expression. You always have the option of quitting. There is no "right to a job that allows me to do what i want and pays me a living wage so that i can afford to live in decent surroundings." If only

the son of a bitch that is the office 2007 beta

I understand that it's a beta and therefore liable to be unstable I don't understand how a feature that worked last week would this week waste a day and a half of my time crashing my computer But you have to defrag sometime right

The sky is falling, the sky is falling

Not!!! I was just joking.  Aren't I funny... Sure

some more common sense

Hey parents, don't like the way a public school is run? want your child to carry the confederate flag, knives, grandpa's rifle in the gun rack, on a holy war for the salvation of all souls?  but the evil school administration don't agree with your ideals?  then school them at home; that is your right.  it's kinda like not letting them watch offensive tv shows rather than trying to get the shows taken off the air.  oh, wait...

good graffiti, bad graffiti

while i applaud the idea, i am a little disappointed in the execution next time, guys, go for parallelism: KING OF JEWS... KING OF BREWS.... king of beers... really

i too love the hoff

but seriously, that jump in my car video is scary as hell

Dumb bitch of the week

I have to break the rules and call out Pete who I can only assume is a man.  Pete is a pro-lifer who was horrified by "Miss Caroline Weber" of The Onion who "wrote" an "article" glorifying abortion.  (But we are not going to the idiocy of a man telling a woman anything about her body.)  Pete wrote a scathing blog entry in response.  We everyone pointed out that The Onion is not a "real" news source, he explained ... Aw hell, there is no explaining him.  He is just a dumb bitch.

The fittest aren't surving

Or rather the unfit are surviving where they shouldn't.  I mean really, how do stupid people figure out reproduction?  Is someone helping them?  And why aren't there more Darwin Awards each year?  No one is that lucky.  Stupid people are not removing themselves from the gene pool at near the rate that they are entering it.

Maybe I need more salt (for the iodine)

Ever notice that as soon as you solve one medical problem another arises.  My special doctor of the unmentionable variety thinks I may have a thyroid issue.  So much so that she ordered a minion to poke me with a long needle.  and added another test to the bill.  yippee.  of course, even if this test is "normal" it doesn't mean that this is normal for me.  I should probably get a full workup.  Here I come Ms. Endocrinologist. 

Celebrate freedom: Embrace stupidity

: Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! : But Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! : But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has Nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! : Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense! : And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense. : If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit! The Defense rests.

A whole bunch of dogs gotta a lot of learning to do

I downloaded the Office 2007 beta to check out the supposedly great new features.  One problem the interface is radically different.  Not just updated, I mean like going from DOS to Windows different.  My first thought was "Shit..." and I am a pretty advanced computer user.  The rest of you suckers are in for a world of hurt.

Ok people

It's one thing to call for reason, but spewing your own self hatred and ignorance is starting to get on my nerves.

Dumb Bitch Award

If you are going to hate people because of X, make sure X is real and not imagined.  For example, saying, " I hate people with allergies because allergies are fatal and I don't want to catch them 'cause I don't want to die."  You are already dying of fatal stupidity.  Dumb bitch.