The children will have to fend for themselves from now on

I propose a new law: "No dog left behind".  I made the mistake of watching the pbs special about what happened to animals after katrina as i rode the bike to nowhere.  it was the saddest thing i have seen in recent memory.  and i mean make you cry sad, not make you want to hit someone.  so i propose a law that would make people actually care for the animals they have made a part of their families.  when you run, they go with you.

I want to be more honest

I pride myself on always telling the truth, but I think that I could do better. And apparently the search for "some Puerto Rican guy" will have to continue...

This is a few days late

1.  men love women who have low self esteem.  a woman like that is afraid to tell you that your shit smells like shit.  she'll tell you it smells like springtime roses just so you won't leave her.  and i'm sure that makes you feel like a big man.  well, if that is what you want that will be fine just fine.  2.  your failings are not my own and i refuse to let you make me claim them.  screw up your own life, but stop trying to drag others down into the gutter with you.  asshole. it's really too bad that the person who really needs to read this will never see it.  not that they would get it anyway.

Dumb bitch of the week

They're starting younger and younger these days...  To the little girl in panda express: demeaning a fast food worker who makes minimum wage doesn't say that much about her incompetence.  But it does say a lot about your "I am princess, worship me attitude."  Wait until your mommy isn't there.  One day, someone is going to call you out for the dumb bitch you are.  I hope she spit in your food.

Why is life so unfair?

Seriously, what possible good does it do for people to suffer.  And only humans have this problem.  Animals go through life just fine.  Take a pack of feral dogs for example.  You eat what you find, you don't find you don't eat.  Seems simple enough for me.  But we humans can't do that.  We have to steal what others find.  We take rather that gather for ourselves.  This is why I like dogs more than people.

way back when in the long long ago

remember back when the internet was limited to the undersunned and overintelligent?  the days when stupidity was only to be found as a subject of mockery?  ok, i made that up.  but seriously, internet access is too easily obtained these days. on a similar note, was anyone else amused by forbes's  Don't Marry Career Women article?  it was an excellent marketing tactic.  it doesn't matter whether the talk is good or bad, only that they are talking about you.  and all those page views led to how many ad clickthrus... but at least i got my car back

Dumb Bitch of the Week

or "If you love your child, watch your child" I have seen and heard of many disturbing instances of children finding their way into trouble or death. Running out in front of cars, telling strangers where they live, drowning in pool in their backyards. In general these have a common theme -- a parent that didn't have a clue what his child was doing. Or so I thought. I thought that if parent knew their kids were doing dumb things, they would stop them. I mean no parent could watch his child touch a hot stove without trying to prevent it, right? Today I was proved wrong. So many indignities are suffered in the laundromat... Today I was faced with yet another child running loose while its parent's mind was focused on loading clothing. I thought after he slammed a cart into my clothing his mother would stop him no dice. She left him to bother other people, which he did. At one point, I saw the kid making nice with some random guy loading a dryer. Nice as in sticking he hand up the guy's shorts. The guy was letting him do it. Am I the only one who thinks this shit is not normal. HELLO11!!11! There is a strange man letting your son rub up his thigh and you are going to laugh like that shit is funny? You need to be calling the police to take this guy back to his halfway house. No sane person lets people randomly run their hands under their clothing. At least not unless there is alcohol involved. Lady, for letting your son give a stranger some cheap thrills, you are a dumb bitch.

Am I a nerd, dork, or a geek?

According to ask yahoo, it's somewhere between a nerd and a geek.  Closer to geek.  Why must people label someone who is "different"? if you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? Do you know what happens when you piss off geeks?  If you don't, be glad.

funniest damn thing i have ever heard

"African American, which I believe you called black"

Hmm, he doesn't look like "some puerto rican guy" to me

Seriously, what is so difficult about stopping your damn car a a stop sign.  A stop sign that due to the nature of the intersection is extra large.

The tri-life crisis continues

Is anyone listening? Another head hangs lowly, Child is slowly taken. And the violence caused such silence, Who are we mistaken? But you see, it's not me, it's not my family. In your head, in your head they are fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are crying... In your head, in your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie, Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head, In your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie? Another mother's breaking, Heart is taking over. When the violence causes silence, We must be mistaken. It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen. In your head, in your head they're still fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are dying... In your head, in your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie, Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head, In your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie? --The Cranberries - Zombie

I seriously want to see snakes on a plane

it will be the highlight of my summer.

The answer is simple...

Someone was wondering how... I pause here because I find myself searching for a nice word to describe blatant stupidity so let's just say "society".  Someone was wondering how society could achieve a stated goal of ending homelessness in 10 years when prices are rising and wages are stagnant.  And people living on the edge are starting to fall off.  The answer is quite simple, you kill them.  Then the problem is gone.  Why else would cities seek to hide the problem rather than address.  After all, it is quite sensible to build infrastructure to provide services to the homeless across town from where they actually live...

Update: I want my baby back

Damage to my car: scratched headlight, scratched/paint stripped bumper, bent fender, passenger door motion impeded by bent fender, alignment jacked, and anything else they find Yes I have a rental.  Yes it is an American made tragedy called a Dodge Caliber.  Who in the world makes a dash that is harder than the bumper and leaves it unpadded? I can only see my baby in pictures.  WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH11111!!!

Dumb bitch of the week

I don't think there is any secret to the winner.  It's kinda obvious.

This week's lesson

You can't avoid "the big one" aka  "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition" so just accept

The most common ailment of all men...

the strange and perverse disinclination to believe in a miracle.

Kudos to Geico

The gecko gets goodie points for outstanding service under a stressful situation.

There is a place beyond emotion

It's not numbness.  That doesn't really describe it.  Imagine what happens when you slam a hammer down on your thumb.  If your body likes you, you don't feel this because the pain is magically stopped by a feeling of nothingness.  I am in that place now.

Just fucked up all around

I was going to record the yanni concert in hd tonight.  so much for that.

Comment reserved until resolution

"Sexless Childless Freak!!!!!"

How dare I not know my place as a woman.  I should be married.  At my age, I should have children -- preferable 3 or 4.  But I'm not, so obviously something is wrong with me.  I must immediately rectify this.  First to go will be the degrees - pregnancy does not require a BA let alone a MBA.  And I would probably be a much better wife if I stopped reading books that taught me words such as "rectify".  Having the freedom to travel to Vegas, South Beach, Mexico, etc. is nothing when compared my duty to produce the future generation.  What am I thinking?  What am I doing buying toys and gadgets to amuse myself?  Why if I'm not careful I could get my woman card (tm) taken away.  Oh well, I suppose I should go watch some more HDTV with my 6.1 surround sound system chop off all my hair as a lament to my pitiful miserable existence (and then look for a man on match.com).

It's not so much that you were wrong...

it's that you wouldn't shut up afterward.

Attention whores

Please do us all a favor and throw yourselves off of the nearest bridge.  Think of all the attention that will get you...

For those of you who missed my quarter life crisis...

Welcome to my tri-life crisis.  Yes, it is early, but I have always been an overachiever.

Time flies when you are wasting it...

I used to think that time flew faster the older you got because each successive year was a smaller part of your total life.  Now I realize that isn't the case.  The true explanation is that you never have time to do anything because realisticly work leaves you with only 4 hours of unallocated time a day.  That's because dressing for, getting to, getting from, and being at work takes most of us 12 hours.  Then you factor in the 8 hrs of sleep needed not to be homicidal and all you have left is 4 hrs.  I'm beginning to think that it's more trouble than it's worth.

Compartmentalization

Say it with me now...  Essentially, life can be divided into three parts: real life, work life, and internet life.  These should never, never cross.  It's kinda like keeping your wife and girlfriend apart.  Actually, it's exactly like keeping your wife and girlfriend apart -- your internet girlfriend and your real life wife.  Bad things happen when you mix the two.  Same thing goes for trying other combinations.  Do you really want your coworkers to see your myspace?  No, you really don't.  So, in the future, don't let the twain meet.  mmkay.