Don't stick bananas in your stereo

Now when I say I hate children, what I mean is that I hate children. I do not mean that in a couple of years I am going to catch baby rabies and suddenly desire children. I mean that I hate children. I do no mean that I don't like others children, but will love the ones I will have. I mean that I hate children and will not be having any. I do not mean that as soon as I hold your precious bundle of joy I will fall in love and want my own. I mean that you can keep your grubby baby to yourself. I've said it before, and apparently I need to say it again: stop trying to define me by your regretted decisions. And confidential to X: babies don't just "happen."  If you didn't want to be pregnant, you should have done something to prevent it.  And there's still time to take care of it...