Simply put: I'm tired of people stealing my shit

You know, I kinda pride myself of saying funny things. And it kinda pisses me off when people steal them and act like they came up with my shit on their own... So, henceforth, I am going to work extra hard to attribute the shit I "borrow" to its owner. It's only fair. Do unto others and all that jazz.

dirty little secrets

i'm sure that i have done this before, but here are some more:

 

i watch the power rangers

i like cartoons

beauty and the beast is my favorite movie

jpop is my newest musical fascination

i don't like puppy kisses

i don't like men that are too skinny

in fact, i like a little meat on the bone

my dog has fleas (and just farted in my bed)

i've had pizza 3 times this week

This is the face of caffeine addiction

It is not a smiley

You don't know me very well.

Question: there are a civic and an eclipse sitting in my driveway. Which is mine? It's a trick question. They are both mine. But why in the world would you think my 60 yr old mother would drive a sports car? But more importantly, why in the world would I show you a picture with a car visible that belongs to someone not in my household. And how the hell am I supposed to have a guy spend the night with my mother down the hall?

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

The way you try to find fault with everything I do is cute. If you understand "cute" to mean getting on my damn nerves. And really your problem is that you are trying to do what I do. And you can't. But that's ok. I wish that I could find some way to get across to you the point that you should focus on what you are good at. You should develop some talents, interests, hobbies of your own rather than emulating the people around you. Accept that you can't be me. This is turning into single while female.

Congratulations, you're a woman now...

Little did I know then. Can I be a man instead? The latest guess is endometrisos. Thanks, mother nature, really. And mother too for that matter.

Could someone check my forehead

I'm getting the impression that some people are seeing "dumb bitch" tattooed there . I don't see it when I look in the mirror, but maybe it is in some color that I can't see or only visible under a black light or something.

What I really need to be doing

is figuring out how i am going the code a parking garage fee calculation program.  or if i have to blog, post one or two of the 10 drafts i have sitting out in limbo.  let's instead ponder the nature of identity (and perhaps the fact that macgyver is available for view on cbs's site).

When I was 10 I wanted to be a neurosurgeon.  now you would have to have known me then to believe this, but yes i did fully appreciate all that entailed.  by the time i finished high school, i was leaning to law school.  which i was going to incorporate somehow with the application of physics.  space physics to be exact.  and before the jokes start, yes i went to school to be a rocket scientist.  (i point out that someone actually thought i had a shot at it as well.)  but as often occurs life got in the way of that.  right now i want to be a computer programmer.  i know things about myself now that i not have conceived of at 10 or 18.  I will probably learn something tomorrow that i didn't know today.

 

and i need to turn dave chappelle off.  but man, he's got me thinking about that grape juice in the fridge.

Vosloo, Bacic, and Bourne oh my

sometimes i have explicitly point out to my mom that i don't like girls "that way".  I mean only score 53% on the gay meter, that counts for something.

MYOB

the world would be a much better place if everyone would attend to their own business rather than interfering in the lives of others.  Remember, you shouldn't care what floats my boat; i'm not offering you a ride.

drunk blogging (may contain bsg spoilers)

this is an experiment in/on how many smirnoff ices i can drink before getting bored.  it is now 9:29.  the experiment began at 9:10.

 

9:10 opened first bottle. pomegranate.

9:29 started bsg crossroads I.  6 is kinda hot, but not as hot as starbuck.  and let's not forget baltar.  if we could just get him to shave.

9:55 fast forwarding through the parts i have seen.  grab dinner.  still on first bottle.

10:00 bottle number 2. arctic berry.  tasty as well.  seal breakage.

10:09 we pause to say, "dude, jet li and jackie chan... eleventy one eleventy one.

10:17 bored

breakup

i haven't spoken to my imaginary boyfriend for three months.

Four years old

this is part of an assignment i had to complete for an ethics class:

Identify 100 of your beliefs in one-sentence statements. (This number is not negotiable.) These should be ethical beliefs as opposed to say physical beliefs "I believe the earth is round".
Explanation of language: While there are exceptions, I have tried to differentiate my use of the words “should” and “must/ought.” I try to use “must” only when a behavior/action is required under my ethical standards (even though I may make exceptions as necessary). I use “should” for those actions, which while not required, earn a person moral character bonus points. While I consider people who violate a “must” “bad,” I make no negative judgment on those violating a “should.”
I believe that…
1) there is a difference between murder and killing.
2) no one human life is inherently better than any other.
3) legislating morality defeats the purpose of having a moral system.
4) you must follow the golden rule.
5) people ought not have children for their entertainment value.
6) parents must be responsible for the actions of their children.
7) at some point a person must look beyond their background and take responsibility for their actions.
8) you should protect the young, the weak, and the old.
9) the pursuit of money is a root of evil.
10) people kill people, not guns. (We should limit/punish actors rather than instruments.)
11) ignoring injustice is worse than committing it.
12) letting someone die is different from murder or killing them.
13) if you have ability and resources to help others you should (but should not be forced to do so).
14) there is a difference between intentional, negligent, and accidental harm.
15) an “eye for an eye” is permissible to punish intentional harm.
16) intent is a important factor in morality, i.e. you can do the wrong thing for the right reason or vice versa.
17) altruistic dishonesty is moral.
18) the worst form of dishonesty is adultery/infidelity.
19) preemptive strikes are wrong.
20) in the absence of professional training, level of self defense should be determined by victims.
21) with professional training, self defense should mirror level of attack.
22) victims should have a say in punishment.
23) those who act against the golden rule no longer have its protection.
24) hypocrisy is immoral.
25) the worst person to lie to is yourself.
26) you shouldn’t get something for nothing.
27) only he who is without sin can cast stones.
28) people deserve honest pay for an honest day’s work.
29) you ought to expect to receive no more than you give.
30) unrepentant smokers ought not receive free public health benefits.
31) motorcycle riders without helmets ought not receive free public health benefits.
32) lawmakers should not hide behind same-sex marriage amendment as a shield to true feelings on homosexuality.
33) you ought to tell people if you fall out of love with them, i.e. a relationship is not as they believe it.
34) people have a moral right to privacy.
35) people ought to be able do with their bodies as they will, as long as they harm only themselves (physically).
36) polluters have a duty stop activities and make their victims whole.
37) the death penalty as currently administered is immoral.
38) it is wrong to experiment on human subjects without full disclosure.
39) animal experimentation is a necessary evil that must be done humanely.
40) it is wrong to abandon puppies in the country.
41) it is wrong to hurt others for entertainment.
42) it is right to have property rights.
43) a person must decide his own highest duty.
44) bankruptcy is dubious at best.
45) people must consider the consequences before they act.
46) I ought not pay for the mistakes of others.
47) in group work, everyone in the group must do equal values of work.
48) friends and family have greater claim on a person than strangers.
49) you have a duty to have proper training before engaging in an activity (driving, surgery, law practice, etc.).
50) you must not drive after drinking.
51) you can forgive a harm without forgetting it.
52) you have no obligation to remain in any situation where you are being hurt.
53) there is no requirement to like all people equally.
54) drug companies should compensate for unwarned damages.
55) manufacturers should tell truth about products.
56) lies of omission are the same as lies of commission.
57) I am the only person with a right to my life.
58) those without mental capacity for understanding the difference between right and wrong ought not be punished.
59) leaders have a stronger duty to take responsibility for their actions.
60) “the rules” don’t apply equally to everyone.
61) consumers have a right to know how goods are manufactured (child labor, genetic modification, etc.).
62) men and women should be paid equally for the same job.
63) people have a privacy right even in public.
64) in a democracy there is a need for minority rights.
65) the rational individual is responsible for his own TV viewing. (But parents are responsible for children).
66) rational beings do not succumb to the “slippery slope.”
67) law ought not be the basis for morality.
68) position and/or might does not make right.
69) animals do not have morals or ethics.
70) people have an obligation to reason about their moral codes.
71) people cannot attribute actions to fate because the future is unknown when making decisions.
72) parents have the responsibility of ensuring proper education for their children, not society.
73) when evidence of crime persists, there should be no statute of limitations on prosecution.
74) people have an obligation to at least try to stop their own immoral behavior.
75) you cannot force help onto people “for their own good.”
76) just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right.
77) you should not laugh at the misfortune of others.
78) if action A has a possibility of consequence C, then committing A is an acceptance of responsibility for C.
79) it’s ok for some of my beliefs to conflict with others.
80) while I should respect their life and liberty, I have no responsibility for the happiness of others.
81) a sin by an other name is still a sin (flattery vs. lying).
82) two wrongs don’t make for right.
83) emotional relationships do not create the obligation to commit unethical acts for others.
84) you ought not take credit for others’ work.
85) ethics is doing what your mother can be proud of.
86) people are responsible for themselves when they ignore warning (e.g. jumping a fence with a “large dog” warning).
87) companies that outsource have a duty to ensure vendors follow all proper privacy practices.
88) “don’t ask, don’t tell” policies encourage dishonesty in employees.
89) you ought not keep secrets involving abuse or minors with eating disorders.
90) everyone has the capacity to commit evil.
91) doing good means active rather than passive behavior
92) it is better to give unwanted items (clothing, shoes, etc.) to disadvantaged than simply throw away.
93) there is no duty to use innate talents.
94) criminals should be removed from society because they have broken an implicit social contract.
95) all professionals have duty to clients whether termed business ethics, legal ethics, or medical ethics.
96) stereotyping is wrong when thought leads to deed.
97) the rules for individual also apply to groups (corporations, societies, countries, etc.).
98) only I can determine “good” for myself.
99) I have a right to decide to not be a member of society, receiving no benefits, but also sharing no ills.
100) it’s ok to ask for help.

"what motivtes you"

The simple answer is the "black box". All of my decision making hardware is in a black box. I input the situation and the black box spits out yea or nay. Other than when moral updates are required, I stay out of the black box. That's the point of the black box... So don't ask me what motivates me; just present your case and the black box will spit out the answer. outlook cloudy, ask again later...

Gimme one reason

and i'll laugh in your face.

The rules

Supposedly people need clear performance guidelines in order to achieve success. To make things simple for everyone, here are a few of the care and feeding rules for me.

How to employee me:
Understand that we are not family
Understand that we are not friends
I am a fully grown adult
I don't do filing, phones, or customer service
I hate people so leave me alone
I don't want stupid gifts with the company name
I don't share
Take your __________ meds
Leave your marital problems at home
If you want me on call, give me a phone; my minutes are not your minutes
You don't get to tell when/what to eat, buy, wear
How much I spend isn't your business
Any training/education you pay for is yours, what i pay for is mine
The moment you start trying to bully me, I quit

How to befriend me:
See above
I'm allergic to cats
Drinking yes, smoking no
No ditching
Trust is the cornerstone of friendship
Ask first before taking
If I saw it first I have dibs until otherwise noted
Never take the last one
"bros before hos"

Something more:
See above
See here
Roses are a safe bet
No shrimp, no seafood restaurants unless its a table for one
We are separate people with separate lives, friends, cars, houses

Everyone else:
See employ me
Don't say "smile it's not that bad" because actually it is
On second thought don't speak to me at all
Don't be the nasty pervert getting frisky with my car

I had a dream last night, and it fit me like a glove

Katee Sackhoff if going a long way to become my new girl crush. Pretty much all she has to do is star in the last season of BSG and she's golden...

On that note, the point is fiction is to be fiction. I don't read/watch fiction to mimic reality. I am trying as hard as i can to escape my reality. Why in the world would I want to watch people live out the problems I have with sound effects and music?

Cleaning out my closet

perhaps i should mention that i listen to a lot of eminem at work...

I've decided to restructure my blogs.  it's not paranoia when they are after you...

Hi my name is...

and i haven't had caffiene for several days
i also haven't worn a suit in so long half of mine no longer fit
i haven't bought gas in a week
the polish on my toenails is really old
my legs haven't seen a razor since december
and i'm not drinking fruit punch right now

The day of reckoning is closer than you think

For some reason people equate quiet with passive. Apparently because my resistance is not vocal, it is nonexistent. But people forget that actions speak louder than words. And trust me, my actions are going to be nearly as loud as the shot heard 'round the world. Too bad I am going to miss out on the fallout.